


With My Last Breath

by cynx_17_kh



Series: You're Somewhere Between The Boy Of My Dreams And The Boy Of My Nightmares [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Feels, Axel is dyslexic, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Saix has OCD, they both have issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 05:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13827213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynx_17_kh/pseuds/cynx_17_kh
Summary: It seems that the harder Axel and Saix try, the less they seem right for each other. Becoming Nobodies didn't help matters either. Will they ever get back to the good times?~This is a multi chaptered fic based on the song Last Breath by Plain White T's. Tags, relationships, charaters, warnings, summary, and rating are all subject to change as this fic progresses. Chapters will alternate who is followed and will be indication by a symbol in the chapter title.(;u;) - Axel(/x\) - Saix





	With My Last Breath

To say that things had gotten complicated in Axel’s life as of late would be an understatement. A few months ago he had a different name, a heart, and a secret boyfriend who also had a heart. Now nothing was normal anymore. Instead of ‘Lea’ he had to become ‘Axel’ because he lost his heart and came back as a Nobody, a not quite person that lacks a heart in the emotional sense. There was a group of other Nobodies called Organization XIII. They all had something similar happen to them. Upon becoming a nobody and joining the Organization, he developed an ability to summon and control flames, as well as summoning a weapon of his own. He was no longer Lea the local goofball. He had become Organization XIII’s number VIII, known as The Flurry of Dancing Flames who wielded dual chakrams named Eternal Flames. In all honesty, he found it pretentious and dumb. His Superior, Xemnas, gave him his new name by anagramming his old name with an ‘x’ added in. However ridiculous it was, it was quite literally a new life and a chance to start over. 

If only his boyfriend saw it that way too. He didn’t know if he could still call Saïx his boyfriend. They had just finished arguing over whether or not losing their hearts was a good thing. Saïx adamantly disagreed, and while Axel understood why, he also wanted his boyfriend to move on. Sure, they died but now they were alive again. Just because they died under very unnatural circumstances meant nothing to Axel. Saïx though, he was truly changed after they died. Due to something the Superior did, Saïx’s eyes were now amber instead of turquoise and for some reason his ears were also pointed. His x-shaped scar wasn’t exactly something that he was proud to have on display in the center of his face, which Axel thought was reasonable. None of that seemed like it was enough to be dissatisfied with their new life. They didn’t have to hide anymore, and yet for some reason, Saïx still wasn’t happy to  have a new existence.

The fight they had just had ended rather poorly in Axel’s mind. Saïx was storming off towards his room, leaving his supposed boyfriend alone and on the brink of angry crying in the castle’s lounge known as The Grey Area. Which, all in all, didn’t make a lot of sense. As Nobodies, they weren’t supposed to experience emotions due to the lack of a heart. They had been told that any potential emotions they felt during their time as Nobodies would just be memories of how it felt to experience those emotions. That didn’t add up for Axel’s situation, or Saïx’s for that matter. Back when they were Isa and Lea, Isa did not get mad at him like this. What he was experiencing was genuine anger, and Isa was only every mildly displeased with Lea. On his own side of the story, Lea had never been so upset that he didn’t know whether to scream and be angry or to go cry alone in a corner. It didn’t seem logical that they would experience new emotions after apparently losing the ability to feel said emotions, but that was none of Axel’s business.

With a heavy sigh, he collapsed onto one of the nearby couches. It had been a long day, and he hadn’t even done anything strenuous. He was just working on controlling his new abilities better. Fire was dangerous to work with, and he was required to master it before going on any major missions. He cracked his neck and rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tears before they had the chance to stream down his face. Axel wanted to talk to Saïx, but decided it was probably best to let him cool down. He was still in a ‘fragile state’ as Xemnas had put it. Saïx didn’t know what his ability was yet, so everyone was ordered to err on the side of caution when fighting with him, and Axel figured that included lover’s spats. After relaxing on the couch for a few minutes, he  stood up and walked back to his room. A good night’s sleep was in order. He just hoped that Saïx wasn’t wandering the hallway they lived in. A confrontation at this point would just end badly. He didn’t want to ruin their relationship any more than their deaths already had.

With the intent of just walking past his boyfriend’s room, Axel tried to move quickly and not get distracted. That wasn’t exactly an easy task considering as he walked by, he couldn’t help but notice that Saïx’s door was half open and the lights were on inside. He paused in the middle of the hallway, debating on whether or not he should investigate this discovery and make sure that Saïx was okay. It wasn’t like him to leave a door half open. Especially since he didn’t want to talk with Axel right now. The lights being on was a more worrying factor, so he decided that he would peek in and then leave. 

That’s what he thought anyway. When he looked inside, he was shocked at what he found. The room was trashed. He held in a gasp as surveyed the damage, noticing Saïx’s kneeling form in the center of it all. He wanted to go and comfort him, but how could he? If the other Nobody was so angry that he was able to completely ignore his OCD that had caused him to carefully organize the entire room, including the furniture, to just wreck the entire thing in a matter of minutes? Axel was scared, and rightly so. Isa wasn’t the type of OCD that involved having to ensure a door is locked 8 times in a row, nor was he the type that couldn’t stand the impurity that was any germ ever. He was the ‘everything has its place and that is where it will stay, end of story’  and ‘symmetry brings balance and stability to my life’ type. Seeing the room in such a state of disarray physically pained Axel, and he wasn’t even close to having any type of obsessive compulsive disorder. He couldn’t imagine the way Saïx must be feeling.

It was probably best for Axel to leave his boyfriend alone for this, he knew that interfering with the disaster that Saïx’s room had become would get him punched, which was truly not ideal in the slightest. Isa always had a great left hook, and Axel’s jaw remembers that even now. He was about to back away from the door when heard a faint sound that could have been a pest in the castle, but wasn’t. Peering in closer, he saw Saïx’s shoulders shaking as quiet sobs ripped through his body. His claymore, Lunatic, was on the ground next to him and looked like it had been cast to the side in favor of something less dangerous. 

Axel decided to take a risk and quietly stepped into the room. As he carefully navigated through the clearly calculated destruction, he saw what Saïx was holding. It was a scrapbook type photo album that Lea had given Isa for their one year anniversary. Lea had worked so hard on that, making everything by hand, well, as much as he possibly could. Axel smiled, glad that he at least was beginning to recall some of his more obscure memories. Dying kind of affected a person’s memories it seemed. 

Saix had opened the book to a spread that had the only copies of Isa and Lea doing any sort of couple like things. It made Axel’s chest ache, thinking about when they were alive. They had the world in their hands, and the only problem they had was how to hide their relationship from their homophobic parents. 

“How do we go back to the good times?” he sighed, making his presence known to his still sobbing boyfriend. He decided that he at least needed to determine if the other needed anything, like help with cleaning or a hug. He was willing to do either before going to bed, no post-fight make up required, even though he knew they needed to do that at some point. 

“L- Axel. You need to go, I’m- I’m not myself.” Saix’s voice was deeper than usual, but Axel brushed it off as a side effect of sobbing. “Something’s wrong and I’ve almost lost control. I feel like I’ve gone berserk… Please leave.”

As he spoke he turned slightly in order to face the redheaded man standing behind him. His blue hair was disheveled, his scar considerably more jagged than Axel had ever seen it, and his eyes… His eyes didn’t have a pupil any more and the amber color seemed to take up 80% of his entire eye. It was unsettling, to say the least. 

“You can’t be serious, Saix. I won’t leave you like this, please let me help you.” 

“I said… Leave!” Axel didn’t have any time to react before Saix was grabbing his claymore and growling. In a moment, he lashed out with his weapon. Axel had just enough time to jump back before getting hit, only he miscalculated ever so slightly. His cheekbone got nicked and he tripped on one of the random things carelessly laid out on the ground. Falling back on his rear with a small yelp of pain, Axel winced and touched his cheek. His fingers came away bloody.

“Saix… What the hell?! What happened to having each others backs?”

For a single moment, Saix’s pupils came back. “Lea, I’m so sorry…”

“That’s not my name anymore,  _ Isa _ . Got it memorized?” He stood as he spoke, wiping blood away from his cheek with the sleeve of his black coat. He noticed that the roughness of Saix’s voice had disappeared when he spoke. It seemed that there was some sort of correlation between the lack of pupils and the way that he was acting.  “You didn’t answer my question, Saix. What the hell was that?”

Just as soon as his pupils had appeared they disappeared. “I told you to leave. You didn’t listen. Now get out before I have to hurt you again.”

“You didn’t have to hurt me in the first place! I’m trying to help you!” Axel sneered at him. The roughness had returned to Saix’s voice. He didn’t know what was happening, all he knew is that he needed to find a way to get Saix back to normal. He took a step forward, knowing that the other would attack again. This time he was more prepared. 

As was expected, Saix swung Lunatic again. It was quicker than before, which caused Axel to wonder how much added strength was this berserker mode giving him. His other cheek got nicked by one of the miscellaneous spokes of the claymore as Axel rushed forward, summoning both of his chakrams. He countered the swing as best as he could with one weapon and pushed Saix backwards with the other. He succeeded in disarming him, causing Lunatic to fly out of his hand and clatter onto the ground. The momentum of his claymore flying out of his hand as well as Axel pushing him in the opposite direction caught Saix off balance and he fell to the ground. Axel pinned him there by trapping his throat between two spokes of his own weapon and by straddling his torso, one knee on either side of Saix’s chest. 

A drop of blood from Axel’s face injuries fell onto Saix’s face. Between that and the shock of hitting his head on the hard floor, he seemed to come to his senses. Axel noticed the yellow irises shrinking back down to normal size and the pupils reappearing. The scar also seemed to become less irritated. He let out a sigh of relief and leaned back onto the balls of his feet. 

“Welcome back, Sai. Thought I’d lost you for a moment.” His tone was somber as he spoke, but he didn’t let up his defensive position. He was scared of this newfound power that he boyfriend had. It didn’t seem like it could be controlled at all. He was scared of Saix now, but he didn’t want him to know that. 

“Axel… Please let me up. I’m sorry for… whatever that was.”

He scoffed in response, standing and dismissing his weapons. “You attacked me, Saix. With the intent to kill me. Twice. What was that?”

“I think… That it’s my equivalent of your fire wielding ability.”

“So what, you turn into a damn madman? You weren’t in control at all and the only reason that I’m still alive right now is because I’m light on my feet.”

“I’m sor-”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it!” Axel yelled, turning away from Saix. He was going to start crying again if he wasn’t careful. The pain from his injuries almost seemed too much just for two little cuts. Saix was strong, though...

“I know! Just-” He cut himself off and sighed. “Let me dress your wounds before you leave, okay? It’s the least I can do.”

“Fine.” He turned back around and sat down on the edge of Saix’s bed, figuring that it would be easier for him to work that way. Saix came closer to examine how deep the cuts were and Axel saw his brow furrow.   


“Axel, your eyes look bloodshot. Were you been crying?”

“Before I came in here and almost got killed, yeah. We fought, you stormed off, and I cried some. Why does it matter?” He refused to make eye contact. 

“It doesn’t, I’m sorry, by the way. For everything that’s happened today. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset with you.” As he spoke he got first aid supplies. He had the tendency to ramble when he was nervous. “You were right, you know. I’m just… I’m stuck on how things used to be, I guess. How could I have been so stupid and blind to how this was hurting you too?”

“You’re kind of an idiot, Saix.”

“Am I at least still your idiot?” His question was tentative, as if wasn’t entirely sure what Axel’s answer was going to be.

“Of course. You can’t get rid of me that easily, got it memorized? Just, please stop trying to kill me.”

Saix smiled weakly and then wordless cleaned Axel’s wounds. That was the end of their exchange for the night. Neither one of them was prepared to truly discuss what had happened. They both needed time to think about everything. When Saix was done, he placed a light kiss on Axel’s lips before walking away to clean. Although he was shocked by his boyfriend’s audacity, Axel took that as his cue to leave. He walked back to his room and crawled into bed. Tears fell from his eyes as one last thought ran through his head before sleep overtook him.

_ How do I see you in a new light? _

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is a part of a series, but the other works are not neessary to read in order to understand this one. Events in this fic may get mentioned in later works of this series.


End file.
